This Is Completely Out of Control

So I know i said all that stuff about me keeping up with this thing.....well let's just forget about that and start new. :)

I am currently a sophomore in college and as single as a dollar bill. I don't care to recap the things that have happened since the last time i blogged because i would be writing for days, let's just say I'm trying to be hopeful for a certain someone who, at the moment, is getting on my nerves, because i don't like to be the one who always initiates a conversation or sends the first text message. It just shows me that you don't really care and I wish people would be upfront with how they feel and if my efforts are in vain or not.

Anyways, this is not what this post is supposed to be about! It's fall people and I'm in that phase where i wear scarves and hoodies and drink my weight in coffee and hot tea! Only thing I need now is someone to cuddle with while we listen to Glen Hansard serenade us and just be cute, but apparently that sounds disastrous because no one wants to do that it seems. I am constantly reading tweets about how people want to cuddle but I guess they are waiting on the right person to cuddle with. I mean I have a couple people i could call and cuddle with but I know after about 5 minutes they would start to get annoying....look at me, acting like i have all these people on standby. It's actually kind of pretentious.

Nope....I'm still searching for someone who understands but I think I will be searching forever. I want to be found, I'm tired of looking. I don't know if being found or that look where the two or your eyes meet and you just know.....but let's get back to reality.

Until next time,

Love you!

WOW!

it has been entirely too long. as i was rereading the posts that i blogged and i realized that i am in a completely different state of mind now.....it's kind of a good thing that i look at this periodically even if i don't post anything just to see my progression as an individual. i'm very proud of the person i am now and i don't think i am done evolving and i love change so bring it on! man it is absolutely amazing to look back and see this! it's almost as if i'm talking to a past me and the present me's jaw in on the floor i'm so astounded! i look forward to having this experience again when i revisit my blog in another 2-3 months!!! :) happy blogging friends!

So it's february!

this post has nothing to do with february other than the fact that today marks the 3rd year that i have had my license! ANNNYWAYSS!!! i did it guys i finally broke it off and now im a free man! so let's get this party started.

it's just factual!

hipsters look better with other hipsters! it makes me look like less of a hipster if you're wearing abercrombie!!!! it just doesn't work that way, sorry!

well that's only one reason on top of the other 300 reasons why i'm about to call it quits! i know i wanted to break my 2 month curse but you are about to drive me up the wall! like i can't deal with this, people asking me where i am all the time! i don't like people trying to control me and know my every move! it actually makes you look psychotic if we are going to be completely honest.

don't even get me started on twitter how you say stupid things like "i hate when i don't get a text from that special person." seriously that shit is annoying; it was kinda cute at first but now i'm about to blow my brains out!

phew.....just had to get that off my chest!

FYI

i just had a nice little meeting with Mr. Toilet! that's it.

Somethings I just can't give up!

i've never had a problem dropping a habit or getting myself out of situations or even letting certain people go in my life, but this THING has a serious hold on me! i'm sitting here listening to Adele's "Lovesong" and i instantly started to cry because i just remember everything that happened!

there is a part in the song where she sings "whatever words i say i will always love you!" i literally lost it because we have both said some things to each other, but no matter what we both know that we love each other unconditionally and that our love is forever! this is the only person i can myself being with for the rest of my life. i want nothing more than to just be there everyday for forever. i know that we are going to argue but i would rather be pissed off and be with you than to have a "perfect" relationship with someone else. i would willingly go back to the arguments and fights than to be with someone where we never argue and i get mad because you aren't who i want you to be.

no one, besides my family, has ever had a hold on me like this before. i would literally do anything for this person because they mean absolutely EVERYTHING to me. and i really really REALLY sucks that they are let's see ummmm 600+ miles away! what am i supposed to do and how am i supposed to function when you are all i think about all day of everyday?!?!?!

i need you.

Whoopsie!

Welp we are well into the new year and i haven't updated you guys on anything that has happened in my life as of now. trust me, a lot of stuff has happened and i'm not even sure how to handle it at this point. i honestly think it's a lot more trouble then it is actually worth, i don't really want to be burdened with another persons problems and insecurities because i have my own. i think that is very insensitive for a person to do, but i, on the other hand, need to address it now and not waste time before i'm in too deep.


p.s Sarah Bareilles' song Gravity is stuck in my head! ironic?